I'm not going to explain this poster much. At least, not now. Only two people, outside of myself, know what the poster (above) means, and that's only because they're going to help define what it means in the coming weeks. For now, it'll be a sobering reminder of what I love and what I need to accomplish.
(painting by Jackson Pollock titled Gray)In the mean time, I said I'd elaborate on "Gray." and it's only fitting that now be the time. About two months ago, my cousin (shout out to El Dee) told me he'd be producing a song with
his crew called "Best I Never Had". We both had ideas about making the song during the early summer, but work and my health kept us from doing so. However, I'd stopped producing songs (of which underground hip-hop and jazz were my specialty) and when I tried to actually make one recently, it was real obvious that the rust was THERE.
So... I decided to enlist help. After the first couple days, I found myself FLOODED with songs. Most, though, I'd have to pay for and so I decided that if I were going to make a song (my cousin stated he'd simply use Drake's "Best I Ever Had" instrumental... which I didn't think would be too original, honestly), I'd have to look to people I KNEW. Thankfully, I found a lot of help fast.
Not just producers either. After telling a couple people of my intentions to record ONE song, many stated that they'd be interested in recording with me (even getting a verbal commitment by a guy I met at a party who said he knew some high profile rappers, whom I won't name drop for fear of being sued out of my clothes). Needless to say, I decided to expand my scope.
After getting all the recording materials necessary (which really wasn't too much since my faja owns DJ equipment), it was obvious that it could quickly expand from one song to three or four. So, again, I went to my contacts and THIS time, they came through BIG!
However, most of them were still limited/exclusive rights songs that I'd have to pay for. It angered me a LOT... until, after speaking with a professional producer, I found out that as long as the song's rights aren't sold, the songs could be used for promotional (simply meaning "NON-COMMERCIAL/PROFIT") uses, it would be fine. That's when this little pebble in my shoe became a boulder.
With 4/5 people signed on, and 7 producers providing the steam, I felt that I should embark on a large project. I mean, how often do you get to show Life who REALLY wears the pants, ESPECIALLY after you got caught with your pants down? The answer, funny enough, is ALWAYS... most times we just let the opportunities pass us by.
Not me. Fuck that. Not now. Fuck no.
Enter "Gray." I decided on the name after it became apparent that in between white and black lay gray (duh!) but it would signify something a little more. The Black Album by Jay Z had a certain appeal to it because it was concise, direct, and fulfilling... something that his previous efforts (except for the first Blueprint) lacked.
I'd written that I'd "seen the colors of life... I couldn't... if not for the... light bestowed... to us on the... First Day." This was a response I did for my health therapy and it came to pass that colors and shades started playing a greater role in the way I saw things after my health collapsed back in March. Red, white, green, black, purple, red... they all mean something to me.
But the one that I couldn't contribute much to was gray. Other than "gray skies" and "silver linings", I couldn't think of too much since gray was a very neutral, apathetic color/shade.
Yet... it's why I like it.
Black and white oppose one another (supposedly). Blue and orange complement one another. But gray is strange because it's what one gets if you mix opposites. If you mix yellow and indigo, you'll get gray. Red and green? Gray.
If you mix ALL the colors, you'll either get black (with pigments) or white (with light). But there's always gray. I see gray as a synonym for truth since the real truth is never quite defined. The only way to know the truth is if you encompass ALL the emotions, ALL the details, ALL the perspectives, ALL the honesty, etc. And quite frankly, that never happens in real life.
It's why broken hearts happen. It's why civilizations perish. It's why the universe happened. If we knew EVERYTHING, Life would be black and white, blue and orange, red and green, yellow and indigo, lime green and light purple. Boring, huh? Life would be SO defined that it would suck. I'm not saying I like things the way the are (OH, HELL NAH!) and if anything, I'd love to be able to press the "reset" button on life. But you have to play with the cards you're dealt. You have to face the challenges that present themselves. You have to live.
And Life, to me, is gray.
While no track names have been selected for "Gray." nor have any of the artists heard the tracks in consideration for the compilation, I feel that it's going to encompass as much of the gradient of life in general. I'm still waiting to have a live recorded song produced by a former high school classmate, but I have yet to have serious discussions with him about the track. So while hopes are high (and apparently, word is spreading), there's still a long road to go down.
And without my car at the moment, I'm going to be hitch-hiking like a mofo...
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