Hitchhiking 101

Sleazy knows what's up. :)

First Poster of the (Locke)r

I'm not going to explain this poster much. At least, not now. Only two people, outside of myself, know what the poster (above) means, and that's only because they're going to help define what it means in the coming weeks. For now, it'll be a sobering reminder of what I love and what I need to accomplish.

(painting by Jackson Pollock titled Gray)

In the mean time, I said I'd elaborate on "Gray." and it's only fitting that now be the time. About two months ago, my cousin (shout out to El Dee) told me he'd be producing a song with
his crew called "Best I Never Had". We both had ideas about making the song during the early summer, but work and my health kept us from doing so. However, I'd stopped producing songs (of which underground hip-hop and jazz were my specialty) and when I tried to actually make one recently, it was real obvious that the rust was THERE.

So... I decided to enlist help. After the first couple days, I found myself FLOODED with songs. Most, though, I'd have to pay for and so I decided that if I were going to make a song (my cousin stated he'd simply use Drake's "Best I Ever Had" instrumental... which I didn't think would be too original, honestly), I'd have to look to people I KNEW. Thankfully, I found a lot of help fast.

Not just producers either. After telling a couple people of my intentions to record ONE song, many stated that they'd be interested in recording with me (even getting a verbal commitment by a guy I met at a party who said he knew some high profile rappers, whom I won't name drop for fear of being sued out of my clothes). Needless to say, I decided to expand my scope.

After getting all the recording materials necessary (which really wasn't too much since my faja owns DJ equipment), it was obvious that it could quickly expand from one song to three or four. So, again, I went to my contacts and THIS time, they came through BIG!

However, most of them were still limited/exclusive rights songs that I'd have to pay for. It angered me a LOT... until, after speaking with a professional producer, I found out that as long as the song's rights aren't sold, the songs could be used for promotional (simply meaning "NON-COMMERCIAL/PROFIT") uses, it would be fine. That's when this little pebble in my shoe became a boulder.

With 4/5 people signed on, and 7 producers providing the steam, I felt that I should embark on a large project. I mean, how often do you get to show Life who REALLY wears the pants, ESPECIALLY after you got caught with your pants down? The answer, funny enough, is ALWAYS... most times we just let the opportunities pass us by.

Not me. Fuck that. Not now. Fuck no.

Enter "Gray." I decided on the name after it became apparent that in between white and black lay gray (duh!) but it would signify something a little more. The Black Album by Jay Z had a certain appeal to it because it was concise, direct, and fulfilling... something that his previous efforts (except for the first Blueprint) lacked.

I'd written that I'd "seen the colors of life... I couldn't... if not for the... light bestowed... to us on the... First Day." This was a response I did for my health therapy and it came to pass that colors and shades started playing a greater role in the way I saw things after my health collapsed back in March. Red, white, green, black, purple, red... they all mean something to me.

But the one that I couldn't contribute much to was gray. Other than "gray skies" and "silver linings", I couldn't think of too much since gray was a very neutral, apathetic color/shade.

Yet... it's why I like it.

Black and white oppose one another (supposedly). Blue and orange complement one another. But gray is strange because it's what one gets if you mix opposites. If you mix yellow and indigo, you'll get gray. Red and green? Gray.

If you mix ALL the colors, you'll either get black (with pigments) or white (with light). But there's always gray. I see gray as a synonym for truth since the real truth is never quite defined. The only way to know the truth is if you encompass ALL the emotions, ALL the details, ALL the perspectives, ALL the honesty, etc. And quite frankly, that never happens in real life.

It's why broken hearts happen. It's why civilizations perish. It's why the universe happened. If we knew EVERYTHING, Life would be black and white, blue and orange, red and green, yellow and indigo, lime green and light purple. Boring, huh? Life would be SO defined that it would suck. I'm not saying I like things the way the are (OH, HELL NAH!) and if anything, I'd love to be able to press the "reset" button on life. But you have to play with the cards you're dealt. You have to face the challenges that present themselves. You have to live.

And Life, to me, is gray.

While no track names have been selected for "Gray." nor have any of the artists heard the tracks in consideration for the compilation, I feel that it's going to encompass as much of the gradient of life in general. I'm still waiting to have a live recorded song produced by a former high school classmate, but I have yet to have serious discussions with him about the track. So while hopes are high (and apparently, word is spreading), there's still a long road to go down.

And without my car at the moment, I'm going to be hitch-hiking like a mofo...

Another Quick Run to the (Locke)r

Well, now that I find myself with enough time to make another post, I'm damn well going to do so.

The theme of my week has been "Things NOT Going According to Plan". Honestly, if there were a "week-after" pill, I'd definitely buy one. Studying for the wrong tests on the wrong days, arriving to those tests late, project deadlines being moved, my car being out of commission for a while, teachers adding new homework and dismissing old ones, pushing myself to the limit...

I will admit, though, that my lack of preparation and awareness (and COMMON SENSE, ugh) doomed me. So maybe it wasn't so much things going wrong at the last moment as much as it was me not doing things right in the first place...

But don't think it's just me. Today (er, yesterday?) was pretty trippy. First NU beat Iowa (UPSET!) and Oregon lost to Stanford (what... the...). The Trailblazers (rockin the dope "RipCity" jerseys) showed up and manhandled the Spurs, while the hometown Bulls upended the Cavs earlier in the week (any second thoughts, Lebron?).

That's just sports. Rihanna was interviewed and the backlash against her ex-, Chris Brown (aka, THAT guy), is back. And apparently, in the midst of everything, a healthcare reform was just reached, but I keep wondering: "at what cost?"

I'll contemplate the meaning (if there IS any) of all these events later. I'm gonna just place this in the locker and get to it next time. Cleaning the yard tomorrow doesn't sound too sexy for me, so I might as well rest up...

Quick Run to the (Locke)r

Football Update


It feels like just yesterday that my application to NU was sent to NIU by my ace in the hole, thus resulting in my rejection from the school. Sigh...

In any case, I'm sure all of Chicagoland can enjoy this one - NU upsets Iowa. On the road.

Watched most of the game and it looked like Iowa was caught looking ahead. It's the type of game I LOVE. I'm aware most of America loves shootouts with QB's airing it out to their receivers and destroying defenses.

For me, though, give me tough run games, great defense, and a close score. Plus, I love underdogs and this game was all I could ask for on a Saturday morning.

Northwestern would be a pretty good team if it weren't for its high academic standards (in reality, the likes of Ohio State and USC are willing to overlook such deficiencies in the hopes of bagging mad $$$ by making BCS bowl appearances.) Their coaching staff is underrated and I'll go out on a limb and say it's the best in the Big Ten. I mean, it's easy to look good when athletes flood your school campus and locker rooms but when you can upstart a woeful program, it speaks to your ability to coach.

NU's upset win deserves a place in my locker. Think a cap will do. Hopefully LSU can wax Alabama later on...

(Locke)r Assignment

So, I read in a couple places that one thing that looks good on a resume, or something you can bring up during a job interview and briefly discuss, is having your own blog. That's coo...

First off, I realize I'm nowhere near the first person who has one (ha!) but I got to admit, Dallas Wright and Paco both influenced me to start my own. I would have done this earlier, but I'd been side tracked by college, family business, and side projects, of which "(Locke)r 258" is NOW one of.

Let's see how this goes...

Rihanna's Interview on "20/20"



Wow... I think that's the first word that came to mind and the one everyone kept mouthing out during the interview. I won't go into the details, but the interview was rightly timed. Early on, the media and the public defended Rihanna after the assault, and it made sense. I mean, who the hell isn't going to, other than him? But then the tables turned when she turned a blind eye to the "incident" and suddenly, everyone was criticizing her.

But, strangely... I get it. Emotions are powerful and if they're not kept in check, they can blind even the most open-minded visionaries. Yet, it's emotions that make us human, you know? I feel her pain and am glad she's been able to put it all in perspective. Even better, she's recognized that being with Chris Brown, for the time being, is NOT a viable option.

Chris Brown, I don't know who you were messing with on the side, but man, to be willing to give this up, and get this instead, I think it's safe to say "the bittersweet, sour taste of regret" set in right... about... here.

Credits to: CNN and Yahoo! News


(Locke)r 258

Well, with the first post out of the way, I think it's safe to say that this is going to be one of my shorter ones. However, since this IS my first post, I feel it's only right to start filling my locker by reflecting.

Broken hearts get remembered, believe me. So as a way to show my reflection, I'm going to place this sticker (on the left) in my locker. I don't think I'm always going to do a sticker. In fact, as soon as I'm done with "Gray." (more on that at a later time), I'm going to place some gray Chucks in there. For now, sleep is my priority...